I'm not dead. Let me start off that way, because it's usually good to know in advance.
('Hey! how's our mutually favourite relative?'
"Dead."
*awkward pause*)

I had to go to LA recently. Neither work nor pleasure, so I didn't get to hang with anyone that I normally try to. Just spent the 3 days visiting family in the hospital, and confronting a fear I've had for many years (aside from needles *shudder*).

Actually, I think they're right that once you leave, it's not 'home' any more is full on correct. There are places I would go- but I don't think I could LIVE down there any more lol.

I'm still doing the GraveYard shift day job 77 miles away. I actually tested for a promotion so that I could try to aim within 50 miles.  I find that I pretty much just sleep, drive, work. It feels like I go to my Meetings for fun/ break up the monotony for 2 hours- IF I can wake up.

I find myself avoiding other humans. This... feels healthier. I'm not sure I'm suitable for 'public consumption'. Like some blue collar people are just not meant to go around managers/ white collar? I think that I need to be around a significant amount of tech/ art people and I am fairly toxic around general populace.

The panic has been better (only had one mid grade attack in 2 weeks!), but the fact that I now just 'hover' creatively is a major stop in my continued betterment.

Point of fact, I have spent the past 3 months in a block. Drawing, Painting, even hobby/ model painting have all stopped. I can barely sketch again.

After having so much happen in this past month (because most everything I posted happened within at least one week of each other), the point finally got pushed to the 'red line' to where, if I'm not producing, I am finally gearing up to get ready to again. Excitement at that!

I guess that having been said I'm probably going to try to produce on a 'slow burn' pace instead of diving into it. See if I can get a few rounds out THEN get some bigger productions out. I've upped a WordPress site (I've written and the like for many years- this one will be a specific showcase), I have some designs I'm getting ready to send to Threadless, and I'm trying to come up with more designs for my friend's giclee art jewelry. I'd say that if I can ever figure out how to get past the admin of day work and real work (I'll be honest, this is my real shirt.), this should truly be an exciting time!